Netflix’s Adolescence does not just tell a story, it holds up a mirror to the world young people are growing up in today. It is raw, unsettling and painfully relevant. At the heart of it is Jamie, a 13-year-old boy arrested for the murder of his classmate, Katie. But beyond the shocking crime, the show forces us to ask: Are we paying attention? Are we really seeing what young people are going through?
Family: Drifting Further Apart
Parents are supposed to be the strongest influence in a child’s life, right? But let’s be honest, sometimes, they don’t see what’s happening right in front of them. In Jamie’s case, and like so many other children and parents that I have worked with, it’s clear that something in the family system, and the way it functions, has been off for a while. His parents were blindsided by his arrest, but you get the feeling they haven’t really seen him for some time. This is something the show captures so well: the disconnect between parents and children. How often do we hear parents complain that their child is “always on their phone” without realising that, for them, that phone is their world? In an age where teens are glued to their screens, much of their lives play out in digital spaces that parents barely understand. While they’re worrying about grades and homework, their children are dealing with an entirely different reality, one where validation comes from likes, group chats and who is in or out of the social hierarchy. By the time a parent realises something is wrong, it’s often too late.
School: More Than Just Lessons
School is no longer just about grades, it’s survival. It is a social battleground where reputation, identity and self-worth are constantly being tested. In Adolescence, we see students juggling academic pressure, social expectations and the ever-present influence of social media. The role of teachers and authority figures has weakened; while they may try to enforce rules and provide guidance, their influence is often drowned out by peer culture and the online world. When Jamie’s arrest becomes public knowledge, the first reaction among students is not shock or concern, it is to film reactions, share opinions online and speculate through group chats. The show perfectly captures how, in the digital age, everything (no matter how serious) becomes content.
Friends: A Constant Connection (For Better or Worse)
Friendships are supposed to be a safe space, a source of support. But Adolescence makes you realise just how intense friendships have become. Friendships used to be about hanging out after school. Now? It’s a full-time job. Even as adults, keeping up with group chats can feel exhausting, so imagine what that pressure is like at 13 when your whole world depends on staying relevant. It’s not just about being a good friend anymore. It’s about always being available. Snapchat streaks must be maintained, group chats must be responded to instantly, and missing out on a joke? That can mean missing out entirely. The fear of being left out or becoming irrelevant in your social group is real. In Jamie’s world, friendships aren’t just about shared experiences; they’re about loyalty, status and sometimes, keeping up an image even at the expense of others.
Social Media & Influencers: The New Rule Makers
If past generations looked up to movie stars or music artists, today’s teens look up to influencers. Adolescence highlights how social media has changed the way young people see themselves and the world. It’s not just about selfies and filters, it’s about your entire identity online. It’s no wonder children tend to feel like they’re not enough. Every time they open Instagram, they see influencers with “perfect” skin, holiday pictures and somehow… perfect morning routines too. But beyond appearance, there’s something even more worrying—certain online spaces feed toxic ideas about masculinity, violence, and status. For some children, the internet isn’t just a place to scroll, it’s where they learn how to think. Even as adults, we scroll through social media and feel like we’re falling behind. Imagine how much harder that is when you’re still figuring yourself out.
A Distorted Value System: Self-Worth & The Need for Validation
One of the most unsettling aspects of Adolescence is how it reveals the value systems shaping young minds today. For Jamie, self-worth was measured by status, dominance and control. He viewed relationships through a transactional lens, judging girls by their physical appearance and dismissing them when they didn’t meet his expectations. His perspective was shaped by a rigid belief that only a select group of boys (the 20% deemed most desirable) held social power. Since he didn’t see himself as part of this elite group, he believed the only way to gain influence was through control. However, Jamie’s need for validation extended beyond social hierarchies. He craved approval from the adults (particularly his father) in his life as well. He sought their affirmation in ways that were subtle yet revealing. Even when his psychologist didn’t explicitly acknowledge him in the way he wanted, he was consumed by anger and rejection. It wasn’t that she disliked him, she simply didn’t offer the validation he expected. And for Jamie, this was intolerable. Jamie’s story is a reminder of what happens when self-worth is built on external approval. In a world where attention and being noticed is everything, Adolescence forces us to ask: What happens when a young person feels invisible? And what might they do to be seen?
Peer Pressure: No Escape
Peer pressure isn’t new, but it used to stop at the school gates. Back in the day, if you embarrassed yourself at school, that’s where it typically stayed. Now? One bad moment can be turned into a meme and shared with the whole world in seconds. It follows children home, into their bedrooms, through their phones 24/7. In Adolescence, you see how the need for social validation plays out in digital spaces. It’s not just about impressing your immediate friends anymore, you’re performing for an entire audience. The pressure to keep up, to be relevant and to belong is relentless. And for some kids, the fear of losing their place in the social world can push them to make choices they never would have considered otherwise.
Loss and the Search for Identity
At its core, Adolescence is about loss, not just Katie’s death, but the loss of control, innocence and clear moral lines. Jamie isn’t just a “bad kid”. He’s a boy caught in a world that moves too fast, demands too much, and doesn’t give him the tools to handle it all. His story isn’t an excuse for what he did, but it does force us to ask: How many warning signs were missed? How many times could someone have stepped in?
Final Thoughts: Are We Paying Attention?
Netflix’s Adolescence isn’t just a crime drama, it’s a wake-up call! It forces us to look at the way we’re raising, educating and supporting young people. Who is responsible when things go wrong? The parents? The schools? Social media? The Justice System? Or is it all of them combined?
One thing is clear: the world children are growing up in today is nothing like it was 10 years ago. If we don’t wake up to the reality of what young people are dealing with, we’re going to see more stories like Jamie’s. More children slipping through the cracks. More lives changed forever. So what do we do? How do we step up? Because if we’re not paying attention now, we’re not just failing kids like Jamie—we’re failing an entire generation.
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